one last dance.....

http://lun2004.deviantart.com/

meet someone, feel your world changed, learn to love this person, love every inch of her body, relate the sound of her voice to the blood that runs trough your veins, relate her smile to the sun, love her and believe she will love you; soon after this, she says good bye; your feelings never go away


multiply this by 3


whats the result?

y... si es mi video, lo que hace que yo viva orgulloso de... mi

y ... si yo no hay mas sueños, ya no hay pasion, en ... mi

stop the pain

Polvasales Films!

try and try, try and try

e tu sei convinto ancora che lei ti amaba...

paparrrapapapa papapapaaa ....

oyendo este video me ha venido la idea de hacer una pagina web.... de mi vida

Aspergers by ~TheSchemingNocturne

Aspergers
by ~TheSchemingNocturne

You tease him.
Push him.
Mock him.
Lie to him.

And he takes it all.

He doesn't understand. Or maybe he does and doesn't let on. He always has been one to want attention.

No. That was wrong. Not attention. He wants friends. He wants people who don't make fun of how he dresses or the things he likes. He wants people who don't egg him on for a laugh or call him names and make fun of his (often less than socially acceptable) mannerisms.

He doesn't see where he is wrong though! Oh, no. He can't tell when an appropriate time to make goofy faces is, or how Nazi jokes aren't very funny when in serious discussion. He doesn't know that words like "fag" and "retard" are not words he should be throwing around so casually, especially when they are the same words people call him.

I have tried to teach him these things. And I will continue to. People will make fun of me for trying, and soon I will be the butt of these jokes as well. (In fact, I'm sure I already am. I'm too quiet for their liking; too nervous.) But that doesn't matter. What they say is irrelevant. I don't care if he throws poorly used sarcasm at me for the rest of my life. I don't care if he wears Velcro shoes or talks about Disney movies all the time. I even can get by his over-the-top stereotyping of males and females.

Why? How?

Because I care. Why shouldn't I? Maybe it's previous experience with people who have the same condition as he does, or maybe it's just my gut, but that doesn't matter. I care far too much to concern myself with the reasons I care in the first place. All I care about is helping him. Saving him from an inevitable death. He is a smart boy. He really is. But he is chained down not by himself, but by a lack understanding from you, and the only way to break these chains is not to comply really, but rather blend in. And when he does, when you no longer see the difference between him and yourselves, you will have to cut the chains and liberate him.

This is not to say that he won't carry scars. He will go on dragging them along in the dust. But maybe, just maybe, if he can, he will escape from the sight of all of you who held him down and he will shake those chains loose. They will fall to the ground and he will fly away to where he belongs. To where he has friends.

http://theschemingnocturne.deviantart.com/

confusion

sei confusa... scusami se ti faccio sofrire ma io ti amo, tu non lo capisci e io non so cosa fare

pass...

anit.... :S no, vid.....

desiciones dificiles

censurado

dream away

http://cleargreencrystal.deviantart.com/

I'm not naughty I'm autistic
by ~ClearGreenCrystal

I'm NOT naughty, I'm autistic

Asking me to look you in the eye when you talk
Is like asking the child in the wheelchair to walk
You wouldn't do it so don't tell me
To brush my hair or go play PE
You get mad when I don't turn in my homework on time
But time at home isn't yours it's mine
I pay attention in class
I pass every exam
So what persay am I doing wrong?


Why do I get shouted at for staring at walls
In lessons if I'm already ahead of them all
I don't sleep at night and I play with the lights
There are codes on my desk and ladders in my tights
I really don't care but you seem to
You seem to have issues with everything I do
Yesterday was yellow and today is blue
So forgive me today if I can't talk to you


Difficult is as difficult does
Ask me to perform on stage and I could
But ask me to walk down a crowded street
And you'll find I'm way out of my league
Sometimes I'm late because I miss the bus
I did it on purpose the first was too full
I might throw a hissy fit in the middle of town
Because they've taken a poster down
It bothers me they're allowed to change my world
Without actually having to tell me first

You say that I'm rude when I don't laugh at jokes
But to me they're just not funny you know
Well I guess you don't because you still pick on me
For a huge imperfection nobody can see
Touch my shoulder, and yes I'll scream
You say I'm naughty I say you're naive

This whole situation makes me sick
I'm NOT naughty, I'm autistic

un nuevo inicio

escuchando la cancion de dragon ball kai , decido dar un nuevo inicio a mi vida (linea para mostrar en la portada trasera de mi libro); me resulta dificil escribir sobre mis sentimientos porque estan en un mundo donde las palabras no existen, existen cosas como pasion, intuicion y corage.

planeo trabajar mas en contacto con la naturaleza, trabajar meditando hasta caer de cansancio y asi dormir sin los pensamientos que me hacen sufrir

planeo ahorrar para un futuro incierto, ahorrar para crear un poco mas de seguridad de que cuando me falten las fuerzas no me faltara el alimento

planeo seguir viviendo en mi mundo, compartiendolo cuando puedo e intentando vivir en el de otros cuando puedo

y es que cuando me enamoro soy alguien algo distinto, algunos sintomas de mi autismo se apaciguan y veo la vida con una pasion mayor a la de la mayoria de la gente , y cuando tengo la esperanza de enamorarme es parecido pero estoy cansado de sueños rotos, algun dia talves me enamore con alguien que sienta algo parecido por mi pero por ahora no kiero ya esperar, estoy cansado de realizar esfuerzos que solo dan frutos temporales

ahora he comprendido que esto se debe a que el autismo causa ver las cosas solo blanco o negro, despues de tantos años .... lo he descubierto

me he esforzado para entender como funcionan las cosas pero siento que mas esfuerzo por ahora ya no vale la pena, es hora de otro tipo de esfuerzo

he amado a 3 mujeres (y aun las amo) pero ninguna a estado conmigo el tiempo suficiente para entenderme, no las culpo pero al menos espero que siempre me recuerden como aquel que las amo como ningun otro

autismo

http://grandeombre.deviantart.com/

Being An Autistic's Friend

August 14th, 2009 by Kelli Santistevan

Autistics want the same things that others want in their friendships. We want to have friends who are loving, honest, and kind. I'm writing this with the assumption that the reader is a non-autistic who wants to be a friend to an autistic person.

Note that while many autistics may agree with the thoughts expressed below, not everything expressed here will apply to every autistic. It is best to talk with your friend about these things and find out what each of you could do to become closer friends.

Be Clear
Autistics aren't always "subtle" individuals. We experience the world very deeply, and often have very deep emotions. However, most non-autistics live in a world with tremendous amounts of subtleties and shades of gray. This world is often foreign to an autistic, as we often think very clearly in black and white terms. We don't always understand shades of gray, nor do we understand why someone would want to live in a world filled with shades of gray! So, we appreciate any effort that a friend makes to be clear. For example, if you grow tired of a subject we are discussing, tell us that you are tired of it! Just say, "I'd prefer to talk about something else." If we overstay our welcome, let us know in a clear and direct way, since many subtle cues are lost on us. Non-autistics often assume it is kinder to say something indirectly then to say it directly. Autistics sometimes miss subtle statements. You can be kind and direct at the same time - in fact, most autistics will appreciate your clarity.

We Don't Always Understand Social Rules
We often have a very definite sense of right and wrong, and believe that the rules should apply to everyone. We often can only follow the rules that we believe are sensible. So, we might not follow a "social rule" because we don't know the rule or because the rule would require some sort of performance that we are unable to give (ex: eye contact, remembering people's names/details, etc). We might not follow a rule if it doesn't make sense to us, either. For example, indirection and hints seem inefficient and dishonest to some of us.

We Don't Like Crowds!
Often, autistics don't like to be part of a crowd. We usually prefer activities with one or two people we know well. For example, rather then going to a movie theater, we might prefer to watch a movie at home with a couple of other people.

In addition, people that we don't know well can make us uncomfortable. If, for example, we are invited to a friend's house for dinner, we would usually prefer to know who else will be there so that we can "prepare" ourselves for the social situation. We might also choose not to go if we don't think we have enough energy to handle the situation. If we choose to say "no" when you invite us to spend time with you and your other friends, please don't assume that we don't like you or your friends. Sometimes it is simply too much effort to interact with more then one or two people at a time. Please do keep inviting us, though, as we might have the energy and desire to meet a new person another time.

Don't Be Easily Offended
Autistics can sometimes say things more directly then a non-autistic might prefer. This is often misinterpreted as the autistic trying to insult the other person. A good rule-of-thumb for understanding my directness is that I almost never intend to insult anyone. I am who I am and I can't change that. I only know how to speak directly. You may find that I don't follow "unspoken" rules and, as a result will break them - sometimes hurting you. Chances are, I did not know that there was an unspoken rule. I'm not trying to insult you! A way that someone could be a friend is to ask me about my intentions when I offend. I probably don't realize that you were offended.

Sometimes We Just Want to be Alone
There are times when it is difficult for us to be around other people. If you invite us to spend time with you and we decline, it may simply be one of these times when we want to be alone. Please don't be offended, and please continue to ask us to be involved in your life!

You Are Strange To Us!
Just as the autistic personality seems strange to a non-autistic, the reverse is also true. Please help us understand who you are and how you experience the world! Share your thoughts and emotions as clearly as you can, so that we may better understand your special personality. Please remember that it helps to be very clear as you translate your thoughts into words, so that we can understand.

I Can See and Hear Fine!
We may miss social cues and have difficulties expressing ourselves, but that doesn't make us less of a person. I don't like people to shout at me or talk slowly, even though I sometimes have auditory processing problems. My actual hearing is fine (better then most people's, actually). But, my brain has problems processing the input in some situations. Shouting or talking slowly doesn't usually help. It also makes me feel bad, as it feels like I am being treated like a child.

Don't tell me to "look at you," either. I can't look you in the eye most of the time. Realize that I have to watch you out of the corner of my eye, and not directly. Telling me to do something that I can't do only makes me feel bad. Because I don't look people in the eye, it can be hard for them to figure out if I am listening to them or not. The easiest solution is to ask me if you are unsure, as I don't have any problem admitting if I wasn't.

Let Us be Autistic!
Sometimes, an autistic will engage in some sort of repetitive motion or strange behavior, such as rocking, hand flapping, strange postures, or humming. This is one of the ways we cope with a confusing world. These behaviors also give us comfort and relieve our stress. Please don't try to take them away from us or become embarrassed if we should engage in these behaviors in public - it is simply the way we are. When I am with understanding friends, I'll often tap/bounce my foot or wrap a blanket around myself. These are the ways I deal with stress, and by allowing me to do them you help me to enjoy your company.

Help Me When I Ask
Sometimes I just can't do something that other people can do. I have to rely on my friends to help me. I'm learning that it isn't wrong to need someone else's help. One of the areas I need help in is at social situations, like parties or meetings. When I'm with friends, I rely on them to mention the names of someone I am talking to (I don't recognize faces) or to "translate" another person's subtle cues into language that I can understand. This can be done in a very kind way by an understanding friend. For instance, a friend can say, "Hi, Bob" as we approach Bob, so that I will know right away that he is Bob. Or my friend could say, "It was nice chatting with you, Bob! We'll let you get back to talking with your wife." This lets me know the conversation is over. But, always let us decide if we need the help or not. We know our limitations much better then even a good friend can know them. Don't assume that we have a particular limitation because you might be wrong. If done by a good friend out of concern, I don't mind a friend asking if I need help. But, please ask in private.

Answer Our Questions
Autistics can have a naivety or innocence in their understanding of the world. We don't learn the same way others do, so we need to be told about a lot of things others seem to intuitively understand. Sometimes we need to ask a "dumb question" to someone we trust. If we ask you a question, we really don't know the answer.

Don't read more into our questions then is there. If I ask, "Are you cold," don't assume that I am asking you to turn up the heat! I probably don't know if I'm cold or not, due to my autism, so I am trying to figure out which sensation I am feeling - so I really want a yes or no answer!

Ask Us Questions
Let us know you are interested in us and who we are. This is the easiest way for me to explain who I am. Autism isn't a four letter word. If you are curious about autism or how it affects our lives, please ask. Most of the time we would be glad to answer the question. Many of us wish more professionals asked autistics about their lives before drawing conclusions! Ask about other parts of our lives as well, as it shows you are interested in us as people.

Allow Us Alternative Forms of Communication
Some of us have great difficulty with speech. Often, we have alternative ways we prefer to communicate. For me, that means I use email, text chat, a portable speech synthesizer, writing, and other non-speaking ways of communicating with my friends much of the time. The best way to respond to my use of these techniques is to continue to speak to me normally, realizing that you may need to modify your conversational style to a more rigid "turn taking" style where you say something and then wait for me to respond, as some of these techniques make interruption difficult for me and take more time then speech does. Simply listen to me and allow me to speak in whatever way is comfortable.

Let Us Be Silent
Some normally verbal autistics sometimes have trouble speaking, either because of overload or simply because they don't have the energy at the time. I am one of these autistics. If it is an emotionally charged situation or lots of people are talking at once, I might not be able to talk to you. If I don't answer you, I'm probably not ignoring you - realize that it is just too much for me right now and I just want you near me. Don't touch or hug me, as I don't enjoy that (some autistics do, though, so ask if you are unsure). Some others might just want to be left alone.

In addition to this, I find it is much easier for me to express my deep feelings in writing then in speech. Please allow me to use this form of expression - I only use it because I want to tell you something that is very important to me and because I trust you as a friend.

Don't Ignore Us
Like any friend, we may get upset if you ignore or exclude us. Please ask us if we would like to participate in an activity or outing before deciding that we wouldn't enjoy it. For example, we might not normally like to go to a party, but we would feel bad if we weren't invited when all your other friends were. We might say "no, thanks" if you ask us if we want to go. But, by asking us, you show that you are interested in our company. In addition, sometimes we even surprise ourselves with the kinds of activities we enjoy!

Our Past
Some of us have had a very difficult past. Please don't pry, but let us tell you if and when we decide we want to. It will mean more to both of us this way.

Forgive Us
We will wrong you at some point in our friendship. Autistics often miss signs and rules that say some subjects are forbidden. We say things directly and sometimes seemingly with the wrong emotions (sometimes my facial expression doesn't reflect how I feel). I know that I often need the forgiveness of my friends, probably more then most people. But, I'll also forgive you when you don't understand something about me.

se que soy extraño pero para mi, los demas tambien son muy extraños

http://roggel.deviantart.com/

http://plutonicfluf.deviantart.com/